All the words we read, all the pages we flip through, all the books we collect and hoard. They bring a lot of questions, don’t they? And even though we read all these words, we don’t always find our answers in them.
The age old frustration of every bookworm everywhere.
Can someone please just figure out a way we cat sit for hours on end without our arms/legs/hands/back/neck/SOMETHING aching after 10 minutes?
No matter what position we sit in, there’s no doubt a lot of fidgeting involved. Wiggling around every few minutes to re-adjust. Losing that just-right feeling as soon as you need to turn a page. Or thinking you’ve found the perfect position for once, sitting there for hours, only to finally move and realise half your body has gone numb with pins and needles.
QUIT RUINING OUR BELOVED STORIES, PRODUCERS.
If you want to take a well loved story and put it on a screen, you need to do it well or we bookworms will REVOLT.
Yes, we know things will need to be changed since it needs to fit into a 2 hour slot. But really? Some adaptations are just not even the story, it’s a completely new thing. How can they mess it up so much? It’s literally already written for them!
People obsess over musicians. Comic books. Movies. Celebrities. Shopping. Art. Literally anything. So why is it weird to obsess over books?
People will say “oh but it’s not real!” So what? Books bring so much to our lives, make us feel so much and even look aesthetically pleasing, how could we NOT obsess over them?
ALL THE EPIC NAMES. ALL THE NAMES I CAN’T PRONOUNCE.
I love them, I really do. They sound amazing. Just to name a few…
Kvothe. Daenerys. Melisande. Feyre. Lazarus. Elrond. Arcus. Zoya. Arcturus. Twylla. Lysandra. Athos. Kell. Bellatrix. Agnieszka.
My spellcheck is having a fit with that sentence, let me tell you.
I mean, they sound epic. I’d love to have a funky name that would suit a fantasy book. But I have to google to pronunciation for half the books I read. I haven’t even got a clue where to start with that last name because I haven’t read Uprooted yet. But woah.
Honestly, I’m more surprised now when there’s a relatively normal name for a main fantasy character.
Speaking of which, how do names like that come to be?
Do authors spend hours researching, going in depth about meanings, folklore, origins. I know quite a few are inspired by different languages.
But there’s some that just see completely new. Do they mash two names together? Use a name generator then improvise? Play scrabble with letter blocks? Let their cat walk across the keyboard and hope for the best? Make noises till something sounds funky?
I swear, every single time a male character enters the story for the first time, a whiff of sandalwood promptly follows them.
Is that the universal scent of male? I know a nice smelling person is more attractive, but surely they can’t all have the same natural scent?
“natural scent” is a very strange phrase to say
Is there no other typically male scent that smells nice or something? What’s so great about sandalwood? Do they all carry little shavings of sandalwood in their pockets?
And anyway, how do natural scents even managed to be described in the first place? The descriptions are so specific –
“He smelt like sandalwood and clean air, with the faint scent of Irish Spring soap lingering on his recently washed skin”
“She smelt like Vanilla, though the faint scent of her coconut shampoo caught with every breeze”
Just…what? Men are forest and women aren’t cakes. And how do people manage to specifically describe what someone smells like. Sure, they might smell nice, but to choose out specific notes…how long did they stand there sniffing them?
Now, I’m not saying I want details. Periods aren’t exactly a nice part of nature. But come on. SO many books have kickass female main characters, and yet I think I’ve only seen periods mentioned by one author. Over YEARS of reading. As if it wouldn’t be a hinderance, or at least an inconvenience at some point in the story.
They’ll go on journeys for months, trekking around in forests or abandoned wastelands carrying nothing with them, not even food. What happens in those situations? Do they have to find a store and spend some of their very little money? Do they have to rip up clothing and wash/reuse the scraps? It’s a pretty grim thing to think about, but the fact it’s just passed over bothers me more than it should.
Well, this is one of those unanswered questions where you probably can think of an answer, we just don’t accept them.
“It’s because you’re waiting. Waiting always feels longer” YES BUT WHYYYY
How do the months whizz by without a flash, and yet it feels like 94 years until the next book is published. THE HORROR.
In fact, it’s probably a good job we don’t know who that person is. I’m sure we all hold that grudge close at hearts.
HOW DARE THEY RUIN THE AESTHETICS OF MY SHELVES. HOW DARE THEY CHANGE THINGS WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION. THE OUTCRY. THE HORROR. THE –
I mean…what a ridiculous idea.
So there we have it!
Those are just a few of the unanswered bookish questions we bookworms probably think over way too often.
Do any of these questions in particular bother you more than the others?
Do you have any answers for them?
Are there any unanswered book questions I’ve missed (no doubt there is)?
Let me know what you think in the comments!
Until next time…
Come and visit me!